That being said, there is also a matter of your perspective of other people. Upon meeting someone, you already know whether you like or dislike a person based on their appearance, their voice, their way of standing or walking, or even their facial expressions. You might not keep that opinion for longer than a couple minutes, but sometimes those first impressions can be lasting. However, ultimately the way you look at someone is a matter of perspective; if you look at them envisioning them as a beautiful person inside and out, then it's going to become harder for your opinion to become tainted by their demeanor.
The same goes the other way around; if you automatically want to see the person as awful and mean and crude, then that's what your perspective shifts toward regardless of if they are a wonderful individual or not. It happens to everyone, and it's simply human nature.
Your parents get divorced. Your father gets a new girlfriend and then announces that he's marrying her. Automatically, your mind starts to paint pictures of the evil stepmothers from fairy tales, and it becomes severely more difficult for your new stepmother to win your affections no matter how sweet and genuine she might be, and how much she insists that she doesn't want to force you to clean the entire house for her own benefit.
No matter what we do, our mind is constantly painting these pictures of people in our heads, and it's hard to stop thinking in a certain way until we step back and completely re-evaluate our opinions.
In my case, this perspective that I'm discussing involves my ex-boyfriends new ex-girlfriend. Long story short he broke up with me and three weeks later already had a new girlfriend. I already knew her, and I had no bad opinions of her whatsoever, but suddenly she turned into the wicked witch in my head, and I began making snide comments and low-blown jokes, all of which made me look like the bad person. Regardless of the fact that I had two mugs and my hot cocoa maker in hand ready to walk over and offer her comfort after she and he broke up, she probably views me as a catty individual (and rightfully so) because I never went through with it and let all of my awfulness stand to represent the only thoughts she was sure to have of me. I let the fact that I'd spent three months loathing her taint my perspective of the current situation, and I instead spent my night making even worse jokes and laughing harder at the situation than ever before.
I tell everyone that I am a nice person with the best intentions and a heart of gold, but really, I'm only human. I let my emotions run away with me, and I let myself be overcome with hate and disdain and jealousy every now and then just like everyone else. I try and I fail, and that's all part of what makes me real. So, to anyone reading this who I've hurt with my words or my actions, I apologize. Know that my perspective is something that I work very hard to keep positive about everyone and everything, but I too fall short.
Why today was awesome: I had dinner with Jennifer and I've missed her dearly.
My year in numbers:
How Many Books I've Read: 5.5
How Many Times I've Lost My Key: 7
How Many Bowls of Soup I've Consumed: 16
It takes guts to apologize. I'm impressed. *high five*
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