To be, or not to be?

On this day, I awoke, and stretched my aching limbs in preparation for the early bright. My eyes feasted themselves upon an alluring and pulchritudinous facade; one that it recognized as familiar, however neoteric. It seemed as though a new me had been contrived from the ashes of some larger flame than even the one that grows and festers in my soul. The sound my feet make as I traipse to the bathroom with a day's full of ambitions on my tongue and my mind's forefront is dull but full of desire and anticipation. I pave the way of my existence with showers of blithe rosebuds and resonating hymns. Today is my day. Today I am made new. Today, the world and I remain in a state of total equanimity. 


... What the crap is this?! 


Okay, I realize that some people are born with poetic souls, but if you're so poetic that your writing sounds pathetic, then you should really consider writing it for your diary instead of the internet. Writing such as what I have demonstrated above can only be truly completed with the use of forcing words you wouldn't normally use and a nice visit to thesaurus.com. Honestly, half of the words I used aren't even recognized by google chrome's spell check. 


I'm not trying to make fun of anyone or anything, but then again I kind of am. Don't worry, it's probably not you. Unless you write like the first paragraph. Then it's you. 


Why today was awesome: The snack lady came by my room with her cart. I got cookies. 

My year in numbers:

How Many Books I've Read: 5.5

How Many Times I've Lost My Key: 7

How Many Bowls of Soup I've Consumed: 15