Fin.

With only ten days left of high school, the nostalgia is setting in. Next year I will be surrounded by different hallways, different classrooms, different sounds, different smells, and perhaps the most impacting, different people. Not to say that I'll miss everyone here, because I won't, but I will miss certain people and the feeling that we'll be friends forever when it is becoming more and more obvious that we won't be.

Everyone has those high school best friends that slowly fade into the background as time passes, and I always claimed that I would be different, and I would keep them all, but as I've found the world of the internet, the people inside have also shown me what real friendship is, and the kinds that are worth keeping. I now realize that even if I don't keep all the friends I always said I would, if I keep the ones that matter, the ones who were always there even when I didn't ask them to be, then I'll be set for the rest of my life.

I know that next year I'm going to find myself surrounded by almost an entirely new group of people, and as unnerving as that is, it's also strangely exciting. I'm having to say goodbye to my best friends Kayla and Hannah, but I know they'll always be here when I need them to be, and they know that my dorm is always open to them whenever they come down to visit. I only hope that I can find friends who can be just as supportive of me in my new home as I have in this current one. Luckily for me, I have my other best friend going to school with me, so I have a feeling that I'll be seeing lots and lots of Kacie next year, which I'm perfectly okay with.

I don't know yet for sure what I want to do with my life, but I know I want to write. It's the one thing I can do almost effortlessly, not to mention quite quickly. I know I still have lots to improve upon in my writing, but it's definitely the one area of schoolwork that I don't mind spending time strengthening.

The only other thing that's really been plauging my mind in the nostalgia department is the fact that I've been waiting months and months and months to move down to my university so that I could finally be around my "friend" (or as Kacie lovingly calls him, my "not-boyfriend") Matt all the time, but there's a good chance that he's now leaving to do Ministry work for an entire year... When he told me, there wasn't anything I could do but support him- After all, how can you not support someone for doing something that you admire?- however, I sobbed and cried while I was telling him to go (though he'll never know that). As much as I will miss him, I know that he's only trying to find ways to improve his future and I want him to do what's going to make him happy, even if it means losing him and bringing an abrupt end to all my schoolgirl fantasies. I don't know what I expected to happen, but it wasn't this.

As much as I don't want to lose him, though, I can't wait around forever. I've already waited for him for almost a year (not sure if he knows that either), but I can't promise to wait for another, and the fact that I can't promise that pretty much rips my heart out. There are going to be plenty of new fish in the sea, and while I can't see one being more colorful and beautiful than him right now, I know there probably will be one if I look heard enough. My only hope right now is that he changes his mind and stays and all my little daydreams come true and I don't have to worry about those other fish at all. (Did I mention that I hate fish? I should probably get a different analogy.)

I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me as much as I like him, so this entire thing could be slightly irrelevant if my wishes and dreams aren't mutual, but it's nice to pretend that they are and that he'll dramatically change his mind at the last second and come sweep me off my feet and proclaim some sort of hidden feelings for me in front of a large crowd of people, and maybe in the rain... but I know it's never going to happen, so why dream?

"Don't dream too far. Don't lose sight of what you are. Don't remember that rush of joy... Don't wish, don't start. Wishing only wounds the heart. I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl... He could be that boy, but I'm not that girl." - Wicked

Days left of class: 10
Lost episodes left: 3
Days until graduation: 33

Old friends, fancy dinners, and a very lonely blog.

Harry: How does Lost end?
Dumbledore: There are some things, Harry, even I don't know.

So, since this is my first blog, before I get to updating you with the mundane happenings of my life, I figured I'd first tell you a little bit about what makes said life so mundane.

I am Ashley, and I am 18 years old, about to graduate from High School with an honors diploma, and had no real life until I started getting involved with things on the internet. (Is that bad?) I am pretty much OBSESSED with Hayley Hoover, Kristina Horner...All those other five awesome girls, Luke Conard, Lena Gabrielle, and Darren Criss (who probably doesn't realize that he's my future husband despite what he actually had in mind as far as marriage). I am a huge Disney buff who is also in love with Glee, Desperate Housewives, and Lost.

Speaking of said TV shows, I totally don't know what I'm going to do when Glee rolls back around again in April because it's going to be on the same night and time as Lost and I have chats that I must partake in about both RIGHT after they happen. AKA: I have to find some way to split myself in half in order to watch both shows at the same time, which won't work out anyway because I have to use my brain to watch Lost, and wouldn't be able to focus on the awesomeness is Glee in the process! D:

Okay, back to me talking about my life: I really like to read and write, yet as of right now, am still listed as a chemical engineering major...(probably not going to happen). But I actually won NaNoWriMo this year! (If you don't know what that is, it's where people around the world all try to write a novel in one month; that month being November.) What else is there about me? Hmm... I have a vlog: www.youtube.com/heyashleyp

I love my God with all my heart and I know he has a plan for my life, though I'd never try pushing my religion off on you, so don't worry about that. I'm not a crazy...at least not with that.

I'm a Nerdfighter, I don't color in the lines, I really like cloud shape hunting, I was born on International Chocolate day, I have a black belt in both sudoku and oragami, my socks never match, I am always scribbling away in a notebook to plan an RP of some sort, I have 4 internet alter-egos (aka characters on RP sites), and I am a HIGHLY devoted Harry Potter fan. Oh! And I'm going to Wrockstock this year and I'm so pumped that MoM is going to be there!!!!!!

OKAY: Now onto the actual topic of this blog.

Last night, I saw one of my friends (Katie) that I haven't seen in over a year! I went to her 16th birthday party, and I was really sad for her because none of her other friends even bothered to show up, so it was me, her parents, her cousins, and her brother (who is also one of my best friends). We played this really cool game involving T-shirt cards that was sorta like Apples to Apples...except not. Katie's cousin David (who I'm also pretty good friends with) won, and I was mad because I'd been winning through most of the game. But whatever. I got to see her dogs again, too, which I was pretty excited about because I've missed them. And I also re-named her bunny Hitler because it has a parted Hitler stache on his face.

Tonight, I am going to this really formal dinner with my cousin and a lot of old people. It's through this organization called The International Order of the Rainbow for Girls (and NO, it's NOT about what you think it is!). It's with the masonic fraternity, and it's supposed to teach us how to be "lady-like". Well, my cousin and I are the oldest in our assembly, so we get to go to this really fancy dinner tonight, and the only downside is that I have to get all dressed up, and I just really don't feel like it today.

I referenced my vlog earlier, and well, I'm just really getting frustrated. I think my videos are funny and whatnot, but I only have 21 subscribers. It's getting angering when I spend so much time editing and coming up with things to talk about and then no one watches. BUT, the perk is that my vlog has already led me into speaking with Lena, Hayley, AND Kristina already, which is good :)

Hopefully my vlog will get less lonely soon. But, I'm assuming if my vlog is lonely then my blog will be, too. So who knows?

Anywhoo, now that I've bored you to tears, I'll wrap all this up by saying:

12 days til Wicked

24 days til the return of Glee

40 days til Willy Wonka

56 days til I see A Very Potter Sequel

65 days til my last day of classes

84 days til graduation

177 days til I'm 19

230 days til Wrockstock