It's Been Awhile...

So remember how in 2011 I made it my New Year's resolution to blog every day all year and then I quit by mid-April? Those were fun times.

But now that it's a few weeks into 2013 I've gotten to thinking about how much these daily posts helped sort out and process my thoughts and I miss it.

For example, today, while working at Build a Bear, I encountered a situation that I really needed to think through and I had to have a conversation with myself in my car about it on the way home, which I'm sure isn't healthy, although probably highly entertaining for the people in the cars sitting next to me at red lights.

So I bring my conflicting thoughts to the internet:

Today really got me thinking of human nature and how even when people are offered good things, no one is ever truly content. My example is this: If a company were to give handouts (like free coupons or free items) to every fifth person who came through the line, every four people who didn't get the handout would be extremely angry. But why is that?

Why is it that someone can do good things for people every single day but it's never enough? If someone goes out of their way to make someone's day, how do other people feel that it was their right to have their day made, too? Someone could be nice every day of their life and be hated for it because it was never enough. To me, that is the most heartbreaking thing about humanity. It's in our nature to want everything for ourselves, and we've come to a point as a society where if the handouts are for others, we don't feel truly pleased for anyone else. We might smile and say congratulations if our best friend wins the lottery, but on the inside we're jealous and filled with rage that they were right in front of us in line when we bought the lottery tickets and gosh darn it if I'd just gone first I could have won!

Busy times in retail bring out the worst in people and if one person gets a coupon, suddenly everyone wants a coupon. They don't take time to consider circumstances like that the person got the coupon because their visit went poorly or Build a Bear didn't perform to the best of our ability so we gave the person a gift on us. They don't take the time to consider that if we handed out coupons like candy, we couldn't give them the service they enjoy, and we certainly couldn't give out free gifts with almost every purchase... (for example, we gave out cookbooks in December and we're giving out valentines and posters now).

So why can't people just be happy for others or take the happy things that life does give them? Have we gotten so far from happiness as a whole that all we feel in times of prosperity for others is jealousy? Must our jealousy always carry us to the form of cruelty to other people or angry and impure thoughts?

I just want everyone to be happy and eat cupcakes and sing Kum-Ba-Yah...

(I want to track new things this year but I don't know what to track? Last time I did bowls of soup consumed and books read and times I lost my key, but I don't live across from the Union anymore, nor do I live in a dorm, nor have I finished any books yet this year... Wow. I got lame as I got older.)